I can't get no.....

As I settle into my new job, I'm struck with a realization I was also struck with when I moved to Colorado Springs lo those many years ago. That realization is that most teachers, no matter where they are, are a lot like Mick Jagger. Before you spazz out, I'm not saying that we're all rock stars, or coked out of our brains, or sleeping with supermodels.

My reason for comparing myself and my coworkers to rock royalty is that we have the same problem: crowds of screaming women follow us everywhere we can't get no satisfaction.

I know what you're thinking. You're about to click away to another blog because you think this is going to be a rant about pay. It isn't. Ok, it'll be about the satisfaction that would come from beating a student. Nope. Adequate facilities? Not this time. Administrators who care about the same things we care about? Some other time.

Nope. We're never satisfied with our students. We always want them to do better. Hell, it's why we teach. We're never happy with the work they do. We always want more from them. I've never been in a meeting yet where teachers think that kids come to them prepared. The place I work now, every single freshman can and does take good Cornell-style notes. At my previous two schools this would have been a miracle. Here? Teachers are worried that the students don't know how to use those notes.

I'm thrilled by this revelation. It proves to me what I've been saying all along. Good teachers teach not for money, or prestige, or higher test scores. They teach to push kids. They teach to expand minds. They teach so that those kids can make a positive impact on the world.

However, there is a dark side to this lack of satisfaction. The more subjects are standardized tested, and the more weight is put on those scores, the more the lack of satisfaction is about reaching higher scores. This would be great if the tests measured learning, but too often they do not. Too often they measure how effective the teacher has been at test prep. Or, in reformer Michelle Rhee's case, how effective they are at cheating. 

That's sad. But until the testing goes away, or the tests get better, I fear it's the direction we're headed. 

And I, for one, am not satisfied with that.

The Administrator's Bill of Rights

Editor's note:

This post was written as a response to the "Inalienable rights" post from yesterday by someone else who sent it to me on facebook. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share it with you, because it's probably the truest thing ever written.

Educational Administrator's Bill of Rights

1. We have the right to give you an evaluation full of grammatical mistakes rating your performance in a class you don't even teach and that we only observed for 5 minutes. It is a positive review subject to change if you complain.

2. We have the right to bear arms.

3. In the business world growth is progress. In the education world change is progress. With this in mind, we will change all the changes that were making a difference last year for the sake of change.

4. Take your attendance now, our statistics are WAY more important then the bell to bell instruction that is equally important, thank you. And please send Emma Nim, Tekila Bottle, Mercedes Christmas, and Precious Love to the office, they will be leaving. Also students bus 52 was late today so if you happen to be late for any reason, tell your teacher you rode bus 52 because your teacher has no way of knowing any different.

5. Here is the order of authority in a school district, BOE, Superintendent, Assistant Superintendent, Curriculum superintendent, Angry guy ugly jacket, IT director, and oh wait, you are an angry parent? Yes, ok, uh hum… ok so now we changed things up a bit and the parent is right, plagiarism is ok, just this one time.

6. Administration can only hear the loud people. If there is something you need, ask a loud person to relate it to us.

7. We need more help in the halls. We also have no idea whatsoever that the pronoun we relates to the antecedent meaning all the staff that works here, including the administration. So basically all of you need to be in the halls, we will be in our offices where it is safe.

8. Bad administrators are like bad B movies. You keep watching to see if they get any better because, "how can they be this bad for so long and not get any better?"

Some things just never change

As most of you know, I'm in the second week at my brand new school (which is not as new as my old school, since the new school was built in 1967 to replace the building from 1923 and the old school was built in 2008). You know what, let's call them my previous school and my current school.

Anyway, as I was teaching one of my freshman classes, I realized that this was the 10th year of teaching for me. That realization made me realize how little changes from place to place. And thus, I compiled a list of truths that I think are true across education.

I hold these truths to be self-evident: 

1. No single human is ever more scared than the smallest freshman boy, still waiting for that growth spurt, on the first day of high school.

2. Students all want to pass on the first day. It goes down hill from there.

3. Kids will look their best on the first day of school. 

4. It takes about a week for them to stop looking their best because it's too much work in the morning. 

5. Every year, kids will be confused about why the student parking lot is empty. They always wonder where all the cars that were there last year went. 

6. Every single kid will groan when you give them work on the first day.

7. Putting a parent signature line on a syllabus for Seniors is basically getting the forged signature ahead of time.

8. Putting a parent signature line on a syllabus for Freshmen is actually getting parent signatures.

9. Somebody is going to test you on the first or second day. Crush them.

10. If a freshman girl is *ahem* endowed  *ahem* she will do 1 of 2 things. Hide herself under rock and roll T-shirts or hang 'em out. There is no middle ground here.

11. Freshman boys will look. No matter what the girls wear. 

12. Nothing smells worse than a freshman boy after gym.

13. No kid will admit that they came to the wrong class. You will be forced to look at their schedule and see that, in fact, they came to the wrong class.

14. The smartest kids say the least, until they know you.

15. Every single person in a school, from janitors to kids to the principal is counting.

Got more to add? Put 'em in the comments!

When a teacher cares too much

When I started this blog, I called the Blaze of Competence. I thought it was a funny play on "going out in a blaze of glory". I knew I was in my last year at my school and that I was leaving. I just wanted to go out in a blaze of competence. I wanted to have a great year in my last year. There was also the possibility that I would get fired for something that I wrote. All in all, it seemed like a good, witty title for a blog that I thought I would stop writing by Thanksgiving.

Today, a former coworker was dismissed (as head football coach) from my former school. I don't know all the details; in fact I only know the details in this news story. I feel like I need to say something about it.

Since this is my blog, I get to. Here goes:

I've never been an athletic coach at the high school level, but I know that it is a job where you get to make relationships with kids, mentor them in an area they often care about more than academics, and reach more at-risk kids than you often do in the classroom. I know that, even if you win championships, there's very little monetary reward. I know that you always are starting fresh. I know that (in season) coaches spend more time at school than anybody except the janitorial staff.

I know that coaches take more abuse from parents than they ever should. I know that parents and players often blame their own shortcomings on coaches. I know that they obsess over even the smallest things. I know that they fund-raise, fund-raise, and then sell suckers during passing period to get their teams the best equipment. 

I know that coaches care. They have to care more than a healthy amount to spend as much time as they do on a job that is a stipend position. They have to care too much to put up with the parents, the fans, and the general non-sense that surrounds them.

I also know Dean Huffman. If you didn't read that article, go back and read it. You can hear Coach Huffman's passion in his quotes to the newspaper. 

I don't know what predicated Dean's dismissal from coaching, so I'm speaking only on what I know of the man I worked with for the last four years. I'm not putting on my rose-colored glasses and whitewashing his record, but I do want to defend him.

Dean is a passionate man. Sometimes his emotions get the best of him. I have no doubt that he has said some mean things to kids. I have no doubt that he has cursed and yelled and called them out as individuals. I don't doubt that he made everyone run for something that one person did. I'm positive that players quit the team because of things he said to them.  I'm sure he's crossed the line at some point. But I'm also sure that he never did it out of hatred, or in-grown mean-ness. He did it because he wanted to get the best out of his players. Yeah, he wanted to win (some will undoubtedly say he wanted to win too much), but he really wanted his players to be the best they could be. 

Now, he was angry at times. He yelled. That's what the best coaches do. They don't do it because they want to belittle their players, they do it because they know it works as a motivational tool. You might not like it, but anybody with even a working knowledge of The Prince will tell you that it's better to be feared than loved. Every year when I talked about that book, his name came up. He was feared. The flip side of that is that he pushed kids to places they didn't know they could go. Hands down, kids would say that they were afraid, but that that fear helped them to do things they wouldn't have done otherwise.

Over the next few days, stories about Dean Huffman will undoubtedly fly around the Internets. 16, 17 and 18 year-olds will fill facebook, twitter and the comments sections of news stories with tales of his transgressions. Many of the stories will even be true. I'm not here to call Coach an angel. I am here to tell the other side of that story. 

Here're some stories that you probably won't hear:

1. When VRHS had only freshmen and sophomores, he led a fundraiser in which the 9th graders battled the 10th graders in shovelling cow turds from stalls at the fairgrounds. It was the first trophy ever in the trophy case. 

2. He once competed against me in a dance contest at a pep assembly. He won when he took off his shirt to reveal a bikini top. I'm nuts and do stupid things for spirit, but that's really impressive.

3. He volunteered to chapperone every dance we ever hosted at Vista.

4. He calls everyone coach. It's endearing.

5. The first year we were open, zero football players were ever academically inelligible. They have a study table right after school, and the entire team runs if one kid has a D or F. He holds students accountable. 

6. He understood that a new school needed to have something to rally around. His team was that thing. 

7. I never had a discipline problem with a football player if I told him about it.

Listen, he may have done something unforgivable. Then again, this may just be a power-grab by a new administration. (I actually doubt both of those things). I know there are people who read this blog who don't like Dean or the way he did things. That's fine. You have your reasons, I have mine for feeling exactly the opposite.

I just hate that this guy, who gave his life, love, and passion to this school for 4 years can be dismissed because "they want to go in a different direction". They don't want to go in a different direction. He undoubtedly yelled at some kid who's parents then complained enough to get him removed. I know that the yelling was because he cared. He knew the kid could do better. And so he's lost his favorite part of his job.  He deserves more than that. I know people will point out that Dean isn't going to win teacher-of-the-year awards, but there are kids out there who like him as a teacher, and I never walked by his room and saw him watching film during class, unlike almost every other football coach I've worked with. He did that outside of class.

Moreover, it makes me angry that if the tables were reversed, and the kid had sworn at coach, and been thrown off of the team, the administrators would have bent over backwards to try and find a way to let the kid back on the team. They would have tried to find a compromise so that the kid could have a second chance. Maybe Dean's had his second chances, but this reeks of a double standard between teachers and students and discipline. However, that's a post for another day.

I like Dean Huffman, and I know that this is breaking his heart. I hope that there can be some resolution where he can get back on the sidelines. Kids deserve someone dedicated to them to be their coach, and whatever else he was, Dean Huffman is dedicated to his teams. 

It just looks like that dedication came with too much passion.

The first days of school

Today I went back to school for the first time in 6 years. 

Ok, that's not totally true. I didn't go back as a student. I went back as a teacher.

Now you're really confused. Most of you have known me as a teacher at some point over the last 6 years. Since you know that I've taught in the last 6 years, you are thinking that I've been going back to school for the last decade. Yes, but when you return to a school you've already taught at, it's not like going back to school, it's more like waking up from a really great nap; you don't want to do it, but you are really just re-entering a world you know and are comfortable with.

Today, I started at a new school. Now, when I was working at my previous employer, they employed enough new people every year that they ran a two day workshop for their new hires. My current employer chooses not to do that. Which means today I reported to the school (where I knew a grand total of 1 people) with everyone else. 

It's just as nerve-wracking as going back to school as a student. What clothes should I wear? Should I dress up? Dress down? Where do I go? Do I have a classroom, or am I on a cart?

Today was made worse by the fact that this school hasn't yet told me how to log onto the gradebook, the attendance or my email. This would be ok, except I have a vice-principal who answered most of the questions addressed to her with "it's in the email I sent". Not being able to see those emails does not make me feel more comfortable.

Also, due to my general incompetence in interviewing, I'm teaching 6 classes, spread over 5 rooms at 2 campuses. This is my 10th year in education as a teacher, and for the first time ever, I don't have a home. Sure, I have a shelf that I get to share with a microwave in a room with no outside windows or doors, but that's not home. I guess my stuff will have to live in my garage for another year. 

This is hard for me. I left a school that I helped to plan and open. I knew where everything was, who was who, and how to get things. I was a department chair. I taught AP classes. I collaborated with people. I had two rooms, and a desk in an office for Pete's Sake! I was comfortable.

I'm not a modest person, and I've become accustomed to getting my own way. I think that this job will work out, and that I'll end up liking it (since that's happened everywhere I've worked), but I'm not sure that will happen. I've been brought low, and that's hard for me to accept.  I have become, in some bizarre twist of karma and fate, a freshman all over again.

I have a schedule that I don't like. I have to be on a cart, at the mercy of other people's whims, invading their classrooms. I have to drive between two campuses, all but guaranteeing that I'll be a bit of an outcast at both buildings. I don't know where things are or who does what. (there's a map and organizational chart in that email I can't open).

Please don't take this to be ingratitude. I know I'm fortunate to have been given a chance at a teaching job in general. I know that recent graduates in California have been told it might take 3 years to get an interview and that I got a job on my third try. Believe me, I'm happy. However, it hurts that I may wander the campus for 5 years before I get my own room. It hurts that I have to teach 4 sections of freshmen. It hurts that I have to teach everyone to say my last name again. 

I suppose there's good news in all of this, though: I will get through it. I'll grind this year out from my storage-closet of an "office". I'll get a cart and deck it out. I'll find a way to engage extra-curricularly. I'll still get to work with high school kids. 

But tonight, 2 days before kids show up at someone else's door and find me there to teach class, I'm just as nervous as those freshmen who are sitting on their couch, worrying about how high school is going to go. 

I guess we'll all find out together.

And now, for something completely different

If you come here to read my deep and insightful commentary on public education, step away from the computer, go for a walk, and don't come back for 10ish days, when I'll be back, and talking about something maybe vaguely educational.

Today, I'm going to talk about how TBS shaped who I am.

Not in any deep philisophical way. No, I had parents, and friends, and teachers, and the Midwest for that. Nope, TBS shaped what I listen to, what I want to drive, and what I find funny. These might not seem like deep things, but it goes to show how a small decision by somebody can have lasting impacts on people they might not even know. (There's probably something about teachers in that statement, so maybe we're getting some educational thought tonight after all).

You see, in the late 1980s and early 1990s, TBS (and WGN for that matter), often showed movies on Saturday afternoons. I often watched these movies. One that was in heavy rotation was the Greatest Movie Ever Made . (Don't be lazy. Click the link. I'll wait.)

Oh that's right. The Blues Brothers. Belushi. Aykroyd. John Lee Hooker. Cab Calloway. Ray-Freaking-Charles.

The movie is about 3 things, really. And those three things (well two of them anyway) really shaped what I enjoy, and what I enjoy has thus shaped my life. Let's investigate, shall we?

Things The Blues Brothers is about:

1. Cars - Dan Aykroyd actually thought that the movie was a musical about a car guy. There's one of the all time great chase scenes (or three) in this film. Now, you can't blame all of my love of cars on The Blues Brothers. My first word was "car", for goodness' sake. However, this movie did reignite my love of the automobile. My love of the automobile led me to learn how to perform at least simple repairs on cars / trucks. Now, I work at a summer camp, and one of my duties is inspection and care for our vehicles. Thanks, Jake and Elwood!

2. The Blues - This movie is really a musical where all of the songs are R & B songs. It exposed me to Sam and Dave, John Lee Hooker and that big brass sound of Chicago Blues. I learned to play an instrument for two reasons. The first was that my Dad had a ceramic tuba player on the shelf in the living room. The second was The Blues Brothers. I met my wife because I played an instrument. Thanks again, Joliet Jake and Elwood!

3. Hating Authority (and Nazis) - Ok, I actually represent authority, but I do hate Nazis. Still, the idea that there were Nazis in America must have had some impact on my studying History, right?

So, obviously the guys at TBS and WGN who programed this movie in heavy rotation in the early 90's changed my life. Why do you care? Aha, because there are other lessons from The Blues Brothers that can be applied to everyone's life. What are they, you ask? Let's examine them:

A. Get the band back together. Really, when haven't you enjoyed getting back together with a group of friends from "back in the day"?

B. Have a mission in life. You need purpose, you need something to quest after. You need a mission. Sure, Jake and Elwood were not right with the Law. But they had a mission, and it was a larger quest. If you can find something, some mission to guide you, your life will have meaning. If your life has meaning, then you will feel fulfilled by it.

C. Shake a Tail Feather. You need to get up and get some physical activity every once in a while. America is the fattest nation on Earth. Crying about it isn't going to solve the problem. You can be part of the solution. The easiest way? Take Ray's advice, and shake a tail-feather

D. Stand By Your Man. You need to find someone who you love, and you need to stick with them. Companionship isn't always easy, but it makes life worthwhile. And remember, ladies, we're just a man.

E. Your actions when young follow you . Let's think about this. Many of you are just out of high school. You think that going to college is a fresh start. In many ways, it is. However, all the people you knew growing up aren't going to forget who you are. Even the Blues Brothers, in their altruistic mission, are judged by what they used to be. Don't think that mistakes made in youth will not follow you. They probably will. The solution? Think before you act and make less mistakes.

F. Appreciate Art What makes man better than beast? That we love and create art. Take some time to enjoy really fine art. Step away from the current crap and take a day looking and listening to the classics.

G. Have good table manners This is just like one of those "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten" posters. The better your manners, the better opinions of you people who you meet over meals (like bosses and in-laws) will have.

H. Glue is strong stuff Ok, this is a gratuitous link to a line that I think is funny. No life lesson there.

I. Have a good horn section If you don't know the movie, this tune is performed in jail by the band. There's a lesson. They all seem to be having a good time. If you can make it happen, have a good horn section, because a good horn section makes life better

And now, to make you giggle a little, and to show how much I loved love The Blues Brothers, a picture of me in high school:

 

The Glory of the Internet being down

Let's be honest, we all have an addiction.

I don't know what addictions you have, but I know that everyone reading this post shares an addiction.

We're addicted to technology.

I understand that technology is a part of the modern society. In fact, I know that it has changed society. I know that you're reading my thoughts right now using the very technology that I'm claiming we're all addicted to. Obviously, I'm using technology to write those thoughts out. In the past, I've even written about how technology is hurting students.

Today, I want to use some technology to talk about the glory of being without that technology, and since blogger is free, and I have some off time on my hands, I'm going to do what I want. If you don't want to read it, go ahead and close the tab, and send your brain back to your virtual world prison.

Oh, that's right, I just called the Interwebs your virtual prison. Think about it. What is the longest you've gone (not counting sleep) without checking your phone or something on the Internet in the last week? An hour? Yeah, if you're lucky. In the modern world, we've chained ourselves to our mobile devices.

However, as most of you know, I spend my summers working at a summer camp. We have a very strict no-technology rule for campers, and pretty strict restrictions for staff. We feel that there are massive benefits to this. To whit:

1. People actually have conversations, and learn to interact. Meals at camp are full of the sounds of conversation and laughter. There's no TV for us to stare at, no phone to check. It's amazing to watch children (and adults), learning to have a meal-time conversation.

2. People build real, strong relationships. Sure, you have 643 friends on facebook, but they're really just acquaintances. (to be fair, Zuckerberg never called it "friendbook". facebook is actually pretty accurate. You know the faces of the people on there, after all). When you take away the distractions, people learn about each other. They share experiences. They bond. That bonding is powerful. Unfortunately, more and more children are insulated from those kinds of experiences because of their addiction to technology.

This isn't to say that we have NO Internet at camp, in fact,  we use the Internet for running camp. Counselors on their time off have access to the Internet. I can get on during lunch and see what's happening in the world. Well, at least until last week.

Last week the Internet wasn't forbidden, it was down. Over the 4th of July holiday. For five entire days.

For me, at least, it was glorious.

Wait. What?

Yeah, I said glorious, and now I'm going to back it up with the why. I think one of the things that technology, and the Internet in specific, does is that it gives us access to so much information that we live in a condition of constantly knowing. We know the scores to obscure baseball games. We know what humorists on the Internet think about grammar. We know what dummies on the Internet think about spelling. All of this knowing has changed the way we think in general. We (or maybe it's just me, but I doubt it) live constantly trying to know what's coming.

This is especially true for me as I try to find gainful school-year employment. The Internet tells me when jobs open and if I got them or not (some openings, obviously no job yet.....). When the Internet went away, I no longer worried about those things. Instead, I could focus on the right now. By the second day of the Internet being down, I wasn't even thinking about the lack of Internet (though I know the people who use it more for their jobs certainly were)

By the third day, we were going down the hill to upload pictures for parents, but I was feeling freer than I've felt in a long time. I had a list on paper, I worked on those tasks. I solved problems using my brain. I didn't just look up the answer. I even took time to organize a shed.

I don't know that it made my life easier, but I certainly appreciated when the Internet went away. I didn't worry as much. I reached a kind of zen. What happened happened. It was, indeed, glorious.

Now, I'm no Luddite. Right now I'm listening to my iPod while typing on my laptop while connected to the Internet. However, I think that it's healthy for all of us to totally unplug once in a while. I'm tired of seeing status updates about how nice the weather is. If the weather is nice, leave your phone at home, and go out into nature and enjoy it. You're at work: I don't need to see that status. Be with your family. Spend time with your friends, without the Internet, texts, or calls interrupting.

I know it's going to be hard. Fighting addiction always is. And if you manage to free yourself, you'll still be living in a world full of temptations. You'll be a recovering alcoholic who lives in a bar. But nothing worth doing was ever easy. So, for a day, walk away.

Don't update your status. Don't answer (or even check) your texts or emails. Don't cruise twitter or facebook. Just live.

I bet you'll feel freer.