16 August 2011

The Administrator's Bill of Rights

Editor's note:

This post was written as a response to the "Inalienable rights" post from yesterday by someone else who sent it to me on facebook. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share it with you, because it's probably the truest thing ever written.

Educational Administrator's Bill of Rights

1. We have the right to give you an evaluation full of grammatical mistakes rating your performance in a class you don't even teach and that we only observed for 5 minutes. It is a positive review subject to change if you complain.

2. We have the right to bear arms.

3. In the business world growth is progress. In the education world change is progress. With this in mind, we will change all the changes that were making a difference last year for the sake of change.

4. Take your attendance now, our statistics are WAY more important then the bell to bell instruction that is equally important, thank you. And please send Emma Nim, Tekila Bottle, Mercedes Christmas, and Precious Love to the office, they will be leaving. Also students bus 52 was late today so if you happen to be late for any reason, tell your teacher you rode bus 52 because your teacher has no way of knowing any different.

5. Here is the order of authority in a school district, BOE, Superintendent, Assistant Superintendent, Curriculum superintendent, Angry guy ugly jacket, IT director, and oh wait, you are an angry parent? Yes, ok, uh hum… ok so now we changed things up a bit and the parent is right, plagiarism is ok, just this one time.

6. Administration can only hear the loud people. If there is something you need, ask a loud person to relate it to us.

7. We need more help in the halls. We also have no idea whatsoever that the pronoun we relates to the antecedent meaning all the staff that works here, including the administration. So basically all of you need to be in the halls, we will be in our offices where it is safe.

8. Bad administrators are like bad B movies. You keep watching to see if they get any better because, "how can they be this bad for so long and not get any better?"

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